Some Love Language

By LifeworX · June 3, 2017 · Life Coaching · 3 min read

Brigette and Anita on the beach in Durban

Relationships are the core of most peoples’ happiness.  There has been definite proof of a clear link between satisfaction within a relationship and within life. We need to take a good look at the four elements that help keep a relationship balanced, ie. Emotional – Mental – Physical– Spiritual wellbeing.   Discovering your primary love languages and learning the 5 Dynamix of Love will benefit you in all your various relationships. At the very centre of a good relationship is good communication.  Communication is not a science but rather an art. 

There is a lovely workshop I do for Lifeworx and it is all centred on Gary Chapman's book: “ The 5 Languages of Love”.

There are basically 5 language's that we speak to each other.  There may be more, but for now, let us focus on these 5 that have worked for me personally and millions of people arround the world. 

1.  Acts of service – these are the things we do for one another, such as: cooking a good meal, making sure the washing is done, the grass is mowed,…… this list is endless.

2.  Affection – this ranges from a hug to just a touch and then of course real intimacy, to the rip-roaring stuff.

3.  Time – this ladies and gentlemen mean unconditional time.  Off the cell phones and spending the kind of time your loved one needs from you.

4.  Gifts – don’t get me wrong it's not always the value that makes something a gift.  It can simply be a note on a lunch box, a flower from the garden... But it is always something that you know would make your significant other feel like it was worth the world.

5.  Words of affirmation – these are simply the nice things that we say to each other.  Niceties the little things that we hear that make us feel special, safe and secure.

This is just a brief overview, touching on the basics.  An in-depth discussion is always beneficial, as questions asked on this topic will push you to search for wisdom and insight and enlighten the way you act towards your loved one and vice versa.  

The 5 love languages are all about what you naturally want/need to receive from your partner and also what you naturally can give to your significant other.  If any of this is done grudgingly you will very probably come up short somewhere down the line.  This discussion needs to be natural and real give- and take.  There is no doubt we can learn to love one another the way we need to.  Once again communication is key.  So spend the time getting to know each others’ languages and don’t be afraid to teach people how to treat you. 

All successful relationships require compromise from both parties.  Just remember: a compromise means you both lose something that you wanted, but in the long run, you will gain so much more.  You just need to re-evaluate what your goals are going to be. When you know what you both want in life you are on the right track and are likely looking to get the same things out of the relationship. You will still have to compromise a bit (you are human) to keep the relationship going, but you are heading in the right direction.

What you need to realise is that setting relationship goals is best when both parties are involved in the process. If only one is working for the betterment of the relationship, it is doomed to fail, because one partner will always feel overworked in the relationship.

First, you must know and understand what it is you yourself need and want in order to share that with someone you love and care for.  Then you can work on your mutual goals together.  Be Better at Being Better is key to making long lasting relationships.



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