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It’s Just a Little Crush?!

By Guest · Oct. 6, 2017 · Relationships

A girl laying on a bed with her hands over her eyes with Polaroid pictures around her.

What it is like having a crush on someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you.

In the past I would have agreed that you choose who you fall for… Now I believe that it is not always a choice. Sometimes it just is what it is.

Having a crush on someone makes you feel like a young teenager again. The only way I can really explain those feeling: Those lovely little butterflies in your stomach, that you used to get before a speech in front of a class at school. They do come back, and you can’t control how nervous you get when you are around your crush.

Working around someone who you are attracted to, in my opinion, is VERY difficult. I get so distracted by the way she chews on the back of her pen while she works or the way she pulls a cute face when she is confused or is thinking really hard, that I forget that I am actually supposed to be working.  Being around her is very difficult, but talking to her is much worse.

In order for you to know that the person doesn’t have the same feelings for you, you must have told them about your feelings, and they must have rejected you. This makes interactions with that person uncomfortable, embarrassing, awkward etc.

The rejection, when you tell them your feelings and they aren’t shared, hurts... You feel instant regret when they say something like, “I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way about you.” It is something that makes you want to shoot yourself in the face because of how embarrassing it was. When you get rejected all you can think about is why you opened up to them in the first place.  You think about how stupid you were for telling them, and how your relationship with that person will now never be the same because it will always be awkward.

It’s true though, your relationship with the person changes. It becomes so much harder to talk to them without feeling embarrassed about having feelings for them.

Starting a conversation with her is the single most awkward thing to do, because she knows how I feel about her and this makes me feel tense, uneasy, anxious, uncomfortable etc…  Before I see her, I plan what I want to say to her, but then when it comes down to actually saying what I wanted to say, I panic and forget everything I planned to say to her. When I greet her I never know if I can or should I go in for a hug, like when I greet every other person, or if it would make things more awkward.

In my case, the person I fell for cannot hide the fact that she feels awkward around me and it makes me so much more nervous. I now find that I can’t handle how it makes me feel when we make eye contact. It makes me wonder what she is thinking if she looks at me and smiles.

My best advice in this situation:  take a step back and let everything unfold.  Go back to the drawing board.  Realize the reality that your feelings will not be reciprocated and give the other person some space just to be themselves.  Take action and focus your attention on anything else than that particular person.  Get busy doing things with your friends, spend more time doing your hobbies, spend more time with your family.  Try get out of your head and stop focusing on the wrong expectation.  You need to take back your control…………….

Let the dust settle, find yourself and your passion in your own life and carry on living your own life and loving your own life.