Do you even care about what you are saying?
Do you even care about what you are doing?
Those are words from a song and it got me thinking... How much of that are we really supposed to be doing? Are we meant to care about our own stuff and on top of it also about everyone else’s? What are the rules and where do we draw the line? When we start caring so much about other peoples’ stuff it can really send us off the planet. Being involved in others’ lives is a dangerous way of living. You are forever chasing something that really doesn’t belong to you.
We have an obligation to ourselves to be accountable for our actions and our spoken words. Why do we think its ok to interfere in others’ lives? This is a very sticky place to be because it tends to come with a lot of pointing fingers and giving advice which always puts unnecessary pressures on the relationship and you.
Not everyone that you think is unhappy actually is unhappy with the choices they have made. Even if this doesn’t fit into your scheme of things. I often see this with parents and their children and most of the time this is to the detriment of that relationship.
Trying to control and advise others all the time is tiring and often very soul destroying because you can often see what they can’t, but this doesn’t make it right for you to advise them. People have their own life courses to follow and we should let them do it, and learn from their own mistakes. What is ok is to support them and be there when they need you. That would help grow your relationship with them on a more meaningful level. When you can see people you love making mistakes, and that they are blatantly making a mistake, and you want to get involved, rather start asking questions. I have learnt a very valuables lesson working with people’s feelings and that is: to ask questions and get them to think about the question and in turn their situation. I have always believed that wisdom is in the question and not always the answer.
Relevant questions make you being there for them, objective and realistic and that is sometimes all they really need. It gives them a whole new perspective and insight into their situation. Then, when you do walk away, you will still have a relationship with them.