What on earth do you mean by that you may ask? Well, it all started when I realized, that if I let everything that hurts me get inside of me, I am not going to cope. So how do you cope when things get too much for you?
How do you keep the harsh words and actions of others at a distance so as not to break you down or steal your thunder?
Do you have a skill or a coping mechanism that has worked for you when times are tough? There is a something that has personally worked for me and one that I have shared time and time again with a client. It is teaching yourself to create this imaginary protective bubble around yourself. This obviously can only be done with a strong imagination and a serious choice to make the decision that you will not let anything or anyone penetrate your bubble.
This allows you to filter and respond before reacting. It almost slows things down for you because you have made the conscious decision not to let anything that doesn’t have a part in your life in. You can now be selective over the words and actions that keep causing you to feel hurt and targeted.
It is at those times when we are most vulnerable, that we feel unsafe and almost alone in a situation. So by creating this imaginary bubble, you will remember who and what is safe to let in and play in your world.
I know this sounds fluffy and hard to do, but I challenge you to try it. Process everything that enters your bubble or should I say you allow to enter your bubble. You will see that there are so many things outside of us that really have no space in our life and especially in the way that we feel.
Be the one in control of what and who you let in and for how long. For most of us it is the people close to us that hurt confuse us, but if you just remember to keep that bubble around you and let them just get on with it you are really choosing not to be harmed by the things that they say and do. This doesn’t mean you should shut down and cut everything off. It just means that you help yourself get through the sensitive moments. You can almost feel the bubble when you have learnt to practice it a few times and realize that you really are in control of the way you THINK FEEL ACT.