Today I learned that I cannot control the situation I find myself in the middle of. I learned that no matter how hard I try to ignore how it makes me feel I will always have to face my emotions... it is difficult to face sadness and anger though and I don’t like facing those emotions, but I have to.
Today I watched someone I care about be tackled to the floor because he was fighting another guy and wouldn’t stop. I learned that no matter how hard I try, I can’t control someone else.
Watching a very violent and very real fight, not being able to stop it hurt me. It made me angry because I couldn’t control it or stop it. It made me angry, because it upset me to watch, frozen and unable to do anything.
I learned that I have to let it hurt me because it is sore. I have to stop trying to mask my emotions because that will not help me. I learned that masking my emotions is a problem because, in the end, I cannot keep running from life and my reaction to it...
So how am I supposed to deal with this? How do I deal with sadness? How do I deal with anger?
Today I learned that to deal with this, I have to realise that I cannot control everything and I can never control what other people do. I can only control how I react to situations, like the one I faced earlier today.
Every action has a reaction with consequences. That is something someone told me that has stuck with me, and someone reminded me earlier about consequences without even knowing what had happened an hour before I bumped into her.
I sat in my emotions today... I let sadness hurt me and I was angry until I didn’t feel angry anymore because I realised that the past is the past and it is what it is.
“When something bad happens, you have three choices... You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.” – Unknown
Sitting in my emotions and seeing that quote made me realise, that what had happened was in the past and I was letting it affect my future. I was letting the situation I faced define me. I was letting it destroy me as well... but now that I know where my feet are again, I am going to let it strengthen me.
So my advice to everyone who tries to mask their emotions and not deal with them is: don’t.
Sit in your emotions and let it hurt if it hurts. It won’t hurt forever, if you mask the sadness it will only hurt longer. If you let it hurt, then it hurts less than if you mask it. Also, remind yourself that the past is the past and you can’t control it. You can only control how you react, but choose your reaction wisely because it will have consequences.